Wednesday, August 31, 2011

i love you but i don't like you

{i love you but i don't like you}
is one of the most revolutionary phrases in my marriage.
admittedly, I am a smidge of a hothead.
i don't like to have to say something disingenuous in order to make someone feel better. 

when in the midst of an argument, sometimes i need some more time to be mad 
but my spouse needs permission to reduce his attentiveness to the task of trying to "fix it." 
"is there anything I can do...?" he asks
{nope, I just need to not like you for a little while longer}

it is genuine.
it is not forever.
it is the best I can do.

How about you?

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

thou shalt not steal

i once stole a post-it pad from a printer shop.
it was an honest steal
{the nearby sign said "take one"}
but when my mother asked where i got it, her tone made me feel like i had done something wrong.

so i lied.
i told her i got it from a friend and when she called to check it out with said friend, i might have said i won it as a prize...

well, it is no surprise my lies were uncovered; my mother took me back to the print shop to reconcile.
the owner accepted my apology and the money i gathered from my red patent leather wallet.
then he got down on a knee, looked me in the eyes and said:

you see that building over there?
that is a juvenile detention facility {blah blah blah blah}...that is where you will go if you steal again.
nod. gulp. 
{breathe, daphne, breathe}

his words were not the whole truth but something about the interaction stuck with me.
i can't say with confidence that i never stole or lied or broke any rules/laws from that day forward.
though, with confidence, i can say each time i am confronted with a decision that might maybe come close to doing "wrong," my heart pounds and i get a lump in my throat reminiscent of that day.  
i don't agree with the owner's tactic {shame is never good for anyone} but there was a lesson in there...

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

three words

the thing about tragedies is they're unexpected.
and i have seen my fair share this year.
being present with people in those moments has changed the way i do things
{above and beyond the always-wear-clean-cute-underwear-when-venturing-out-of-the-house}

no matter my state of mind
no matter my level of cranky
no matter the flurry of activity we are engaged in at the time
i work hard to say:

i love you

before i leave the house
before getting off the phone
before walking away.

no regrets.
no take-backs.
no questions.