[your] an awesome brother but you can be annoying

Every weekend and throughout the summer, we have our eldest create a learning plan. 

It typically involves reading, writing, and math.

He is rocking the reading and math these days so we are focusing more on writing.

He loves creative writing {he's got great style} in a word processor on account of the spelling/grammar assist 

but

He really struggles with writing by hand.

The learning plan helps him build in space for concentrated focus on that.

Last weekend his "assignment" was to write a personal letter.

He decided to write a letter to his brother...to be read in 4 years.

I love this letter so much!

{spelling remains a work-in-progress}

Dear Futchur Ishmael (2nd grade),

When you get stuk on something keep doing it.

Do a lot of reading and writing. Yu'll enjoy it!

Play video games after work.

Don't get out of bed erly unless you are going to school.

Be very active.  Go outside and play soccer, football, tag, dodgeball, rugbe and play with family.

Listen to directions.

Eat a lot of protene, vegetables, fruit, and don't eat a lot of treats.

Whatever you do, don't eat DYE!  Your alergec to it!

Your an awesome brother but you can be annoying.

Love, Quentin (ten, not fourteen)

{case in point}

with profound gratitude

A recent conversation with a student has me feeling deep gratitude.

Gratitude for you

 ~ my mentors, friends, and family members ~

who have shown up along my journey {for quick pit stops and for the long haul} and created safe spaces for me to:

Ask big {sometimes ridiculous} questions about life

Be silly

Be sad or mad or excited or to just "be"

Ask for help {and then gifted me beyond measure}

Take chances and fail

Be vulnerable and self-reflective

Try again and succeed

Experiment with and cultivate my personhood

Learn how to be me.

 Thank you.

no, for real, what women want...

This is a revision of a former post but in that the themes continue to emerge amongst my lady friends, I figure it bears {revision and} repeating!

For consideration on:

 Birthdays, Anniversaries, Mother's Day, and the Every Day...

 

{affirmation}  Every woman likes to hear she is wonderful.  

Not just the statement of fact, but why you think she is so great. 

These are the details that help us get through those dark moments in our heads,
where we are certain of failure across some or all aspects of life.  

Be generous with your affirmations and be specific.
You don't have to blow your wad all at once;
consider leaving/offering single affirmations throughout the day {or week or month or year...}

{gratitude}  Every woman likes to hear she is appreciated.

Not just the statement of fact, but why you appreciate her.  

These are the details that help us continue to give and give and give and give,
beyond the point of exhaustion and resentment. {yes, resentment}
Be generous with your gratitude and be specific. 
Like affirmation, you don't have to worry about going over the top with gratitude;
{unless you are being disingenuine or unintentional with it}
consider extending gratitude throughout the day.

{time}  Every woman likes to have a little time to herself.

Time that is unfettered by the "need to's" and "should do's" of life.  

Time to sit and do nothing but whatever we want to do.
We don't want to have to ask for it.
We don't want to have to justify it.
We don't want to have to account for what we will do with it and
we don't want to feel bad about taking it.
Find a solid chunk of time you can freely and graciously offer the woman in your life.

{service}  Every woman likes to have things done with her in mind.

we do a lot in a day. some of it is obvious and noticeable.
some of it is done so tacitly, it doesn't even strike you as an item on the to-do list.
we always have more items on our list than hours to accomplish them.

consider what is on the plate of the woman in your life and see about picking up laundry, cleaning bathrooms, washing floors, planting a garden, pulling weeds, dusting, or organizing the kids' outgrown clothes, managing the family calendar or finances, or keeping a vase filled with flowers.  

{this list is not all inclusive}

  Service need not be relegated to one day, of course.

{things}  every woman likes to receive gifts.  gifts of value...or not.  

The key to giving a gift is to offer something that demonstrates you know her.  

Offer a gift that communicates your knowledge of:
 who she is, what she believes in or values, how she likes to spend her time, things that drive her bonkers, and ways she feels loved. 
Consider a "frivolous" magazine, a gift card to a favorite place, a new item for the kitchen or home, a book or album, a pedicure or massage, an article of clothing, or some bling. 
If you don't feel like this is your area of strength, ask for help from a confidant in her life.

Be creative, but whatever you do - don't gift something out of projection {with your likes in mind} -

go with empathy {what she wants/needs}.
And don't ever hesitate to combine "things" with "time"

 

 If you are able to "gift" with these five themes in mind,
the woman in your life will feel

loved and appreciated and encouraged.