I am doing fine (and I am not lying)

Next week marks the halfway point in the second quarter of the 2nd year of my doctoral program.

I will defend my dissertation proposal this year and write it next year.

I have the most magnificent cohort of women journeying alongside me.

I have an incredible partner and children cheering me on.

My opportunities to grow & learn & network abound.

I am living my dream

So, if you ask me how I am doing, I will tell you 

"I am doing fine"

and 

I am not lying 

{but I'm also not telling you the whole truth}

The whole truth is...

I am tired

{more tired than when I worked midnights & more tired even than when we had a newborn}

Commuting two time zones for school is not as easy as it looks.

I have serious FOMO with our family’s every day life.

I find it difficult to have to miss our kids’ birthdays.

I still need pep talks on the regular because this feels so…beyond.

I miss sleeping right up next to my partner every night.

I long to connect {in real life} with my tribe spread around the globe.

I struggle with needing to choose time with my family over time with friends.
I struggle with needing to choose schoolwork over time with family & friends.

It is hard for me to say “no" or "I am sorry I can't..." 

I just miss the way things used to be.  

This season is different.

Living my dream is lovely and validating and also...

really, really hard.