a fine line

abuse cases are difficult for me.

first, because the scenarios are often horrible.

second, because i struggle with how to respond when talking with colleagues

"around the water cooler."

for instance, we recently had a case where the alleged acts of parental abuse were egregious.

{truly truly  horrifying}

all night and into the days to come, 

people were incredulous about how this parent "could do such terrible things to a child?!? "

i heard lots of "i would never..." 

and variations on how even the death penalty would be too lenient in this situation. 

we had lots of judgment to throw around.

{and i get those sentiments}
i, like my colleagues, felt sick to my stomach.
to imagine what this child had endured in its short life.
indelible marks.
an inescapable narrative.

but i also found myself countering with:

it is not our job to judge; we don't know all the facts

reminders that parents are often driven to a place beyond the reach of their right mind

and sometimes it doesn't seem to take much of a push

{and sometimes, i think} 

it is but for grace that any of us parents are able to 

stay within the the bounds of a right mind

i do not excuse the abuse.

i do not condone the actions of one who abuses.

but i am sympathetic to the moments a parent faces 

when it takes all the protective resources one has in their life

{and then some}

  to rail against the wall of risks, depravity, and insecurity

and to

rise above the demons of our personal narrative