hold you stuck

just over a year ago, our youngest transitioned out of his crib.

we immediately regretted it.

there are few things as frustrating as a child who rebounds out of his bed.

100 bazillion times. 

we exhausted all the strategies.  

we took turns. we were nice. we were consistent. we were creative. 

we almost transitioned him back to a crib. 

but that boy, he is nothing if not determined so every night was a long, ridiculous ordeal.

one night, i traveled to my wits' end and crawled into bed with him.

i placed his legs in between my thighs, crossed my ankles, and enveloped his little torso with one hand free so he could suck his thumb.

yep, that is right folks, i restrained my kid.  

it was a soft restraint but a restraint nonetheless.

as his giggles turned to defeated cries and he pushed against my embrace, i questioned myself 

i am pretty sure this is not a strategy for the annals of parenting awesome-ness {just sayin'}

all of a sudden, his body went slack.  he stuck his thumb in his mouth and pulled his other arm free to place down the front of his jammies into the crook of his armpit.

he turned into me...and fell asleep.

in the days and weeks that followed, the bedtime dance became more predictable and less frustrating   we restrained him less and less, until it became a distant memory.

but this past week, as i snuggled next to him at bedtime, he surprised me with:

Mommy, i want 'hold you stuck.' 

he then proceeded to place his legs in between my thighs and wrap my arm around his torso.
he sucked his thumb and placed the other hand down the front of his jammies into the crook of his armpit and snuggled close.

Ishme {I asked} why do you want me to hold you stuck?

"Because I safe."

I pulled him tight and kissed his little head.  Yes, bubba, you are safe.

"Thank you, Mommy. I lovah you."

And I know that feeling - I still encounter it as a grown-up:

Sometimes we need a little "hold you stuck" in our lives.

In the hustle and bustle of everyday life and routine, it serves as a reminder that we are safe. 

We are not alone.

We are loved. We are going to be okay.