going on a bear hunt

It happens now and again that I come up against a thing that makes me feel stuck.

We all have these things {or at least that is what I tell myself}

In the way of narrative therapy, I have decided to call this thing...Bear.

My relationship with Bear is complicated and has a longstanding rhythm.

Bear seems to let up a bit with some attention but he always comes back to smack me down like the relentless bully he is.

Bear compromises my satisfaction and puts me in funny head space.  

Every. Time.

And I let him do that to me. 

Every. Time. 

Which feels pretty gross.

I am a verbal processor {shocking, I know} and have dedicated many minutes and hours to processing Bear with my husband, who, for the record, is NOT a verbal processor.  He kindly obliges my need to talk since he knows the significance of Bear's impact.  

Anyway, the general theme of the most recent discussion kept moving toward my acknowledgement that I need to deal with Bear head-on. 

My relationship with Bear is not getting better - despite my efforts.  

In fact, it seems my approach to engaging with Bear may have just increased his power and influence over me. 

So husband says: 

"Daph, you know, you've tried going around it. 

You've tried going under it. It might be time to go through it."

And so,

Things are changing.

 

I feel excitement. I feel nervous. 

I feel relieved...and free.