a story about the christmas where we almost got divorced

Over the holidays I twice referred to "the Christmas where we almost got divorced."

Once at a gathering with college friends.

And once with my little sister

One reference was met with silence.

And the other with an outright request not to admit there was ever such a year.

But there was.

{It was, ostensibly, over a blue terrycloth robe and a tin of Piroulines}

That year we encountered a lot of transition.

That year was very difficult and we did not cope well.

so

That year almost ended our marriage.

I remember a friend talking, with disdain, that year about friends who really have only negative things to report. It made me self conscious because my life felt like it was only full of negativity and I worried she was talking about me. 
I became very careful with how truthful I was with friends. 

I had a couple of friends who were okay sitting with me on the "life is hard" bench but for the most part, folks wanted to hear that we were doing well and adjusting well to the transition.
It was difficult to share how hard it was. It was difficult to see beyond the moment.  It was lonely. 

It was isolating .

This year I realized we have come a long ways.

We looked despair in the face and figured a way through its depths.

And we can laugh about "that Christmas..."

But I also realize how important it is to be open to listening to and being there for friends (and others) in the midst of despair and uncertainty.  Life is full of shit and sunshine; it is important to be present and encouraging to each other - even when it seems like there is only negativity to report.