...and so, i bake

Whenever tragedy befalls a community - nationally or internationally - I feel internal conflict.

You know, the kind of tragedies that grip the attention of people across the globe:

{school shootings, hurricanes and tropical storms, earthquakes, plane crashes, bombings...}

In the moment I am listening to the news across the radio or reading a news article or blog post, I feel the burden of that community's pain. I feel compelled to DO something - to "help" in some way. 

I am drawn in.
I listen a while longer or read "just one more" account.

However, as I withdraw my attention from the stories, I feel the distance of disengagement.
I find myself overcome by the banal tasks of my life - wildly unaffected by the drama unfolding hundreds or thousands of miles away - and I feel a sense of guilt.

Life's equilibrium has shifted, in ways that will take a lifetime to reconcile {if ever}.

And yet,

Life goes on - in ways as ordinary now as moments before the tragic event.

It does not seem fair.  

But neither does it make sense for the completion of all life's tasks to cease.

Compassion: Relief: Guilt

 {internal conflict}

I find I don't really know what to do with the conflict.

I try to remain mindful - emotionally and intellectually present when others want to discuss - but I also need some distraction from the weight of (inter)national grief.

Sometimes it feels overwhelming and so, I bake.

I immerse myself in the kitchen.

 I create something to share.

Then I sit down with my family {the people I love} - we talk and eat and laugh.

For a time, my mind is quieted

Tragedies leave an indelible mark:

We do not ever know what the days, weeks, and years ahead will bring.

But right here and right now,

my heart is grateful.