advanced placement birds and the bees

Before we even had children, my husband and I determined we would answer our kiddos' questions openly and honestly, avoid euphemisms, and utilize accurate terminology...while maintaining developmental appropriateness.

Which is how, when our oldest was 3, he was able to tell me (after I'd been away leading a retreat) about how "a sperm and an egg get together and hang out to make an embryo and their cells divide and divide and make a tail and then the tail disappears and you get a baby.."

{exactly right, buddy}

Since then we have filled in some details...

sperm comes from a penis

eggs are housed in "fill-open" tubes

babies are born from a vagina - unless surgery is required...

and have been thankful for his restraint in asking more detailed questions.

{until last week}

gulp.

I had just returned from a trip.

We were reading together on the couch when he states how he would like a baby sister, as if it is just that easy, right?  I told him I appreciated his enthusiasm but we weren't in the market for any baby sisters at this point and besides, it isn't something you can just decide one day and make happen the next.

"i know, i know," he says.

{silence}

We continue reading for a bit and then he says, 

"Hey, how do the sperm and egg get together anyway? I mean, how does the sperm get from a penis to a vagina?"

{crap}

"Well, most often a man and a woman have sex in order to get pregnant..."  {holding my breath}

"Does sex mean the penis and vagina get together?" he asks.  {yes, i say}

"So you and Daddy had sex twice..." he surmises. {thank goodness he can't see me smirk}

"People usually have sex more than just to make babies," I say

{please don't ask why, please don't ask why, please don't ask why}

"Why?" he asks 

{of course}

{deep breath} "Mostly because they find it feels good," I suggest.

{silence}

"Does it feel good because the vagina is soft and squishy?" he asks

I inquire after his impression of the vagina and he says,

"A baby comes out of the vagina so it can't be hard and crunchy because then it would hurt the baby..."

{indeed, i say}

"Hey," he says, "did you know that there are some fish that are alive in the world right now that came from the prehistoric age...?"

And just like that, the lesson was over.

And now...

I wonder how this information translates on the playground.

I wonder after the wisdom of our candid approach.

I wonder how this impacts his perception of adults with children.

I wonder when he will ask the inevitable "next" questions.

I wonder how long he will continue to trust us to provide the information over the tales of his friends.

And I think:

Time will tell.