park hater

I am a park hater.

Although, that designation probably doesn't really capture the truth about how I feel.

I really believe in parks and public play spaces.

Especially in contrast to everyone having their own private play spaces in the backyard.

I mostly just hate taking my kids to the park.

That doesn't quite capture the hater in me either.

The hater in me hates:

that the park doesn't have anything for me to do...

except chase my kids around or

sit on a bench feeling pressure to play with them but wishing I could read my book or magazine

{meanwhile other parents chase their kids around and I sit there feeling like a bad parent - sounds like a personal issue, eh?}

The hater in me hates:

that most play equipment is simultaneously too big and too small for my kids

and most definitely is too little for me...to play or to assist my kids' play.

The hater in me hates:

standing around in the presence of other parents, 

not sure if it is proper etiquette to make small talk

while my kids have no trouble establishing one-afternoon stand friendships with their kids.

The hater in me hates:

how lonely and boring it feels to go to the park with my kids.

But it is easier to say "park hater" than to say

A-person-who-prefers-not-to-go-to-the-park-for-a-variety-of-selfish-reasons.

Ultimately, though, my hater status doesn't matter because

my kids love the park.