july has gotten away from me

this month i started a number of posts and saved them as drafts.

they are not finishing themselves

and 

i have not found the space i need to finish them.

this season, life feels like it has rattled on like a freight train, leaving me gasping for breath.

i've tried to be intentional about filling any free spaces with contentment for staying in the moment and 

being present with the ones i love;

rather than getting lost in my internal pressure of the oughts and shoulds.

august is almost here and in one week i am taking a month of vacation.

i look forward to it, with flutters of anticipation and excitement.

a time to be with the ones i love and see the country.

a time to rattle on like a freight train, leaving life gasping for breath.

until then, be well.

love,

d

second chances

{thank you for giving me second chances}

for mother's day, my husband encouraged our oldest kiddo to write me some encouragements.

so he cut some strips of paper.

he wrote some "inkrigmints"

and then left them in my wallet to find later.

he left 4 notes.

they are little treasures i carry with me nearly 2 months later.

but the one about second chances stood out.

partly because his spelling is such a work-in-progress

but mostly because it feels raw and genuine 
{and took me by complete surprise}

this note highlights a part of our relationship that feels so tacit and subtle and yet, so significant.

i can't help but wonder what exactly he was thinking about when he wrote it.

but i smile hearing that he feels like he has space to totally mess things up in my presence and

he will still get a "do-over" and  

i will still love him.

always

life should be...

"Life should always be abundantly joyful and effortless"

I saw this on a sign outside a local chiropractor's office.

I think it is supposed to be read as encouragement.

But I keep getting stuck on the "should be" and the hyperbolic nature of the sign.

I mean, I do believe one should certainly be on the look-out for the moments in life which are abundantly joyful and/or effortless.

But if life were always those things, how would we recognize those truly spectacular moments?

 {those moments that leave us in awe of this world, the people around us, and the promise of richness to come}

How are we to make sense of the abundantly gritty, effort-full, deeply sad, or confusing moments?

Obviously, I keep getting stuck on the realities of life.

Life is:

sometimes abundantly joyful

and sometimes effortless

{but}

Much of the time, it is a lot of hard work and we have a hard time finding the joy.

So I have revised the saying in my mind to read:

Life should always be open to find abundant joy in our effort.

a loaf of bread

last night my husband made an extra batch of dough.

to rise overnight and bake for some friends.

tonight, with the kids in their jammies, we set off to deliver a warm loaf of bread.

our oldest kept asking "why are we even doing this?"

because

it feels good to complete random acts of kindness for friends.

&

a warm, fresh loaf of delicious bread is nearly always a welcome treat.

today

{Outside my window...}

it is getting ready to storm. I am perched on the back of the couch alongside our 2 year old, watching a construction crew frantically trying to get in as much work as possible before the rain comes.

{I am thinking...}

about how lovely it would be to have a Memorial Day 2012 reprise - complete with family snuggles in the hammock, sprinkler play, cold beer, and dinner beneath the newly strung lights on the back patio.

{I am thankful for...}

a good night's sleep next to my love

{I am wearing...}

a plum skirt and neon green shirt.

i think they go well together but i can't be certain so i felt a little self-conscious when dropping kiddo #1 at school

{I am creating...}

space in the basement to hang a bike, piles and piles of laundry,  a birthday dinner menu

{I am going...}

to finish my coffee before it gets cold. 

I am trying to stay in the present today - a task that is very difficult for me to do

{I am hoping...}

for many things - the list feels all a-jumble at the moment

{I am hearing...}

birds tweeting amidst the whirring-beeping-clanking of bulldozers, the squishy click of a nearby thumb-sucker, and a neighbor's lawnmower

{A few of my favorite things...}

freshly cut grass, a thunderstorm, time with family, learning new things, clean dishes, the scent of a freshly bathed child, anticipation for upcoming adventures,  riding a bike, and 

hand-picked strawberries