ministry musings

I have a large filing cabinet drawer in my living room and 3 large bins in the basement containing artifacts I have actively avoided for 3 years.  Their contents represent some of the most spectacular years of my life but also some of the most painful and heartbreaking years of my adult life.

Over six years ago I interviewed for a Youth Director position at a local church.  

 I never thought I would end up in youth ministry and yet... 

I felt compelled to apply for this position. 

{Such is the way of ministry, I am told}

The church was looking to rebuild a youth program that had deeply suffered from a series of missteps following what many described as “the golden era” of youth ministry. I had a decade of experience with youth and their families across myriad settings, a few years of program development under my belt, and a “contagious enthusiasm.”  

I was offered the job.

The rhythm of youth ministry suited me well.
 I struggle here with wanting to write about the intricacies of my ministry experience, to include the fine details of my journey, but in sifting though all the details, I find them to be fairly inconsequential to the story.

Yesterday* I met with a former student for breakfast and I was reminded of how I felt when I resigned:

I loved my job but hated working for a church.

Yesterday I sat across from a kiddo who, when we first met, might be considered "at-risk."

He was not the easiest student to have as part of the program.

He was not a rule follower,  and he did not always make the right choices.

But we had authentic connection 
- he felt there was room for him to be genuinely known and loved  -
and that has counted for a lot since day one.

Even though I was his church leader.
Even though my choices in life may be considered less risky.
Even though our interests, in general, are not particularly aligned.

Yesterday, I sat across from a young adult who has mellowed with age.

Who, having dealt with some fairly steep consequences for his actions, chose to re-connect with family and community and God in an attempt to move forward. 

Since I resigned, he and I have remained in contact and have talked through a lot of the details of life. He and I have remained in authentic connection.
I am thankful for that continued relationship.
And

I am thankful for the opportunity to bear witness to God's relentless pursuit in our lives.

* I actually started this post weeks ago so it's relationship with real-time is a bit skewed.