Thursday, May 10, 2012

what women want

here is the deal: 
in honor of mother's day, partners are asking, kids are creating, and retailers are directing what women want
but i don't {often} see women weighing in on their desires and preferences.
maybe we don't want to seem needy or greedy or bossy or...
maybe we are too busy to put it out there so i have decided to do it - for the greater good.


{affirmation}
every woman likes to hear she is wonderful.  
not just the statement of fact, but why you think she is so great. 
because these are the details that help us get through those dark moments in our heads, where we are convinced that we are failing at some or all aspects of life.  
be generous with your affirmations and be specific. you don't have to blow your wad all at once, consider leaving or offering single affirmations about the day {or week or month or year...}

{gratitude}
every woman likes to hear she is appreciated.
not just the statement of fact, but why you appreciate her.  
because these are the details that help us continue to give and give and give and give, beyond the point of exhaustion and resentment {yes, resentment}.  be generous with your gratitude and be specific.  like affirmation, you don't have to worry about going over the top with gratitude (unless you aren't being genuine and intentional with it); consider extending gratitude throughout the day.

{time}
every woman likes to have a little time to herself.
time that is unfettered by the "need to's" and "should do's" of life.  
time to sit and do nothing but read a novel, watch t.v, wander the mall, sit in a coffee shop with our favorite beverage, hang with a friend and not worry about naps or dinner, take a nap, or have a pedicure. {please note: this list is not all inclusive} we don't want to have to ask for it. we don't want to have to justify it. we don't want to have to account for what we will do with it. and we don't want to feel bad about taking it. maybe the time can't happen on mother's day so consider looking through your busy schedules and see if you can find a solid chunk of time you can freely and graciously offer the woman in your life.

{service}
every woman likes to have things done with her in mind.
we do a lot in a day. some of it is obvious and noticeable. some of it is done so tacitly, it doesn't even strike you as an item on the to-do list. i guarantee our list(s) are long and we never feel like there are enough hours in the day {or week or month or year} to accomplish what we want/need to do. 
consider what is on the plate of the woman in your life and see about picking up laundry, cleaning bathrooms, washing floors, planting a garden, pulling weeds, dusting, or organizing the kids' outgrown clothes, managing the family calendar or finances, or keeping a vase filled with flowers. {again, this list is not all inclusive
and remember, service is something you can spread over time, rather than relegating it to one day.

{things}
every woman likes to receive gifts.  gifts of value...or not.  
the key to giving a gift is to gift something that demonstrates you know her.  
(if you don't feel like this is your strength, ask a confidant in her life). 
maybe she has been dropping hints or maybe not, but whatever you gift consider who she is, what she believes in or values, how she likes to spend her time, things that drive her bonkers, and ways she feels loved.  consider a "frivolous" magazine, a gift card to a favorite place, a new item for the kitchen or home, a book or album, a pedicure or massage, an article of clothing, or some bling.  
be creative, but whatever you do - don't gift something out of projection {with your likes in mind}...
go with empathy {what she wants/needs}.
keep in mind: things and time go well together.

listen, if you and your kiddo(s) are able to construct a mother's day {or any day, really} keeping these five themes in mind, you will be offering a woman what she wants. 
she will feel loved and appreciated and encouraged.

ladies, does this sound about right?



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