liminations: {outside my window: it is june}

The last few weeks have been gang-busters.

I am fairly certain this is true for most households we know.

I mean, it is already double-digit June; how did that happen?!?

Today is the first in 23 that I don't have a meeting, appointment, soccer practice, or other obligation.

{Well, I do have to work tonight but that is not until 11pm so, it almost feels like it doesn't count}

Our dining room table is full of to-do list promises and our kitchen sink full of dishes.

Yesterday, I started trying to dig out from under the weight of the "everyday" but today I am trying to attend -

to my fatigue, to my impatience, to my cynicism, to my ambivalence, to my feeling overwhelmed.

Today I am giving myself permission to strip down to the absolute basics:

breathe, eat, sleep.

{And, obviously, write a blog post}

So, in honor of slowing down and attending:

{Outside my window}

The sun has returned. A chipmunk pair are playing tag on our back deck and both have stopped repeatedly to look into the window - as though they want to come inside. It is somewhat creepy.

The rain drops are drying. You can almost hear the flowers stand taller and more full.

{I am thinking}

About my ambivalence and recalling a blog post by a friend in which she endorses the idea of writing through ambivalence. Since reading her post, I find the crevices of my thoughts considering what that might look like for me. It feels a little scary. Because what happens when I am no longer ambivalent about my "next steps;" am I ready for a conclusion?

{I am going}

To take a nap with my youngest as soon as this post is done. We are going to lie there, tell stories about his stuffed pig and snake and monkey, and then we are going to take 2 deep breaths, nestle our foreheads together and be lulled to sleep by the squish-click-squish-click of his thumb in his mouth.

{Around the house}

It is a mess.

Mostly it is a superficial clutter that won't take longer than an hour to put away but the mess. is. everywhere. This week will be a baby-steps-to-clean-the-house kind of a week.

{A few of my favorite things}

A cool glass of water. The smell of freshly picked tomatoes and strawberries. Clean sheets and a made bed. A long, uninterrupted shower. Play dates with friends. Lectures and presentations that make my hands itch to take notes and think beyond the moment.

Lying outside in the hammock, swinging gently in the breeze.